Feb 202014
 

Compass Box Hedonism Maximusbarry's place pics 120

46% abv

Score:  91.5/100

 

The finest grain whisky I ever tasted was a stunning 45 year old Clan Denny Girvan from 1965.  It was enjoyed over a rather magical (read: drunken) evening out with Mark Connolly and the fine folk of the Glasgow Whisky Club.  The clean crispness and utterly pristine profile of that dram were a lesson learned in just how incredible very mature grain whisky can be.

In terms of all grain whiskies I’ve tried to date, Compass Box Hedonism Maximus is second only to that one particular Girvan.  Prestigious company to keep, in my humble opinion.

Long time ATW readers may recall my waxing poetical in an old Compass Box tasting event write-up about how I was quite taken with the first editions of Compass Box Hedonism.   If so, try to imagine the personal appeal of an uber-aged variant.  Maximus is built of 42 year old Invergordon distilled in 1965, and 29 year old Cameron Bridge distilled in 1979.  (I’ve read Carsebridge, as opposed to Cameron Bridge, in a few write-ups now, but that seems unfounded, especially in light of the CB website itself mentioning the two contributing distilleries).  Age has again worked her magic on this spirit, and such a lengthy slumber has done amazing things to this blend of grains. 

I concede it is highly possible many of you would score this higher than I do.  It’s important to recognize that this is not my favorite profile (being so close to a bourbon or a rye, as it is), so any score posted above will carry some bias.  At the end of the day though…it’s just a number.  Hopefully the words will help convey that this is an exceptionally composed whisky. 

Ok…one final note.  This review, like many here on ATW, is not exactly timely.  By that I mean that it’s not exactly timely from a marketing perspective (’cause that’s not the point of this website).  This whisky was limited to 1,500 bottles and by now is most likely but a distant memory for most retailers.  Having said that…please do recognize the relevance of discussion on this one, and let this be something of an overt endorsement of the Compass Box brand.  Their core releases are leaps and bounds ahead of so much of what is out there on the market, while their special releases (Maximum, The Last Vatted Malt, The General, etc) are utterly brilliant. 

Nose:  Such sweet vanilla and coconut.  I’d actually guess this was a bourbon, based on first nosing.  A lot of oak…a lot of spice.  Cinnamon and nutmeg over toasted marshmallow.  Distant hint of cherry lip balm…like the smell you cling to as she’s walking away.  A touch of orange, tangerine with white chocolate and faint smoke.  Frothy, creamy, buttery toffee foam.

Palate:  Waxy, spicy, oaky bourbon.  It’s not bourbon, of course, but that would be my first guess.  Very sweet, but incredibly well-composed.  Barfi (Indian sweets).  More spice…more oak.  Touch of rosewater.

Thoughts:  Another one of the high-end compass box releases that is unequivocally worth your hard-earned dollars.  I believe I’ve referred to CB mainman, John Glaser, as an alchemist at some point in the past.  Case in point. 

 

– Reviewed by:  Curt

– Photo:  Curt

 Posted by at 11:19 am
Feb 112014
 

FC Logo

Craft artisan whisky making.  There is arguably no Canadian distillery that has so wholeheartedly embraced this concept as Grimsby, Ontario’s Kittling Ridge Estates Wine And Spirits.  While some may be unfamiliar with the name Kittling Ridge, its less likely that the name of the distillery’s flagship whisky, Forty Creek, has flown under the radar.  The company made its mark on the whisky world several years back with the release of its Barrel Select standard expression.  In more recent years the distillery’s output has been wonderfully augmented with a series of unique limited releases.  Each of these whiskies bears both the hallmarks of the Canadian style and the fingerprints of a distiller at the height of his craft.

I hate to say it, but for those of us who may have started off our dramming days by diving into the heavy, malty complexities of Scotch, Canadian whisky will most likely be something of an acquired taste.  Its sweet, spicy character has more in common with bourbon than it does with the amber blood of Scotland.  Having said that, much like anything worth trying, it’s worth investing the time to learn the intricacies of the subject before forming an opinion.  Canadian whisky is a journey unto itself, and a rewarding one at that.

To quote Canadian whisky authority Davin De Kergommeaux, John K. Hall, the man at the helm, is “a chemist by education, a winemaker by trade, and a whisky maker by passion”.  John has almost singlehandedly brought the prestige and national pride back into Canadian whisky.  In ages past, the world was quite enamoured with this singular drink.  It has served as both the saviour of parched American palates during times of prohibition, and as the trendy ‘it’ drink in earlier decades.  Up until the last few years however, it has rarely been afforded the accolades we Canucks would like to be able to boast of.

But as Mr. Zimmerman once said, ‘The times, they are a-changin’’. 

Aside from John Hall himself, if anyone in the spirits world has been instrumental in helping pull Canadian whisky back into the spotlight, it would be the aforementioned Davin de Kergommeaux.  Davin’s brilliant book ‘Canadian Whisky: The Portable Expert’ is essential reading for anyone who endeavours to learn a little more about Canadian whisky.  At some point in the future I’ll be looking at pulling together a few words on Davin and his book so let’s not dwell too deeply on that here, but I would like to draw your attention to the fact that Davin has pulled together a few great pages (Chapter 24) on Kittling Ridge, in which he does a beautifully concise job of setting the scene regarding Forty Creek and the Kittling Ridge distillery.  I could sit here, play armchair hack journalist and regurgitate all of Davin’s hard work for you, but I’d be doing an injustice in paraphrasing, and instead will highly recommend you do yourself a favour and grab a copy of his book. 

And finally…for those looking for a little more information direct from the source, the Forty Creek website is absolutely top notch.  One of the best out there, to be honest.

A quick final note before we jump into some tasting notes…

While there’s no age statement on these Forty Creek releases, it’s a fair assumption that they are all built from fairly young whiskies. It should be noted however that much (if not most) of Canadian whisky is served up relatively young.  I bring this up not to suggest that age is a qualifier in any of the following notes or scores, but simply to say that there is an awful lot of complexity packed into these bottles.  Each one a rewarding experience in its own right. 

I sat down one morning a few days back (yes, I said ‘morning’…what of it?) with seven different expressions of Forty Creek and my tasting note book.  The results…well…see for yourself.

 

Forty Creek Barrel Select
40% abv

Nose:  Vanilla.  Caramel…maybe butterscotch(?).  Nutmeg.  Chocolate.  Salty dough.  Lemon.  A dusting of cinnamon.  Toasted marshmallow (actually…have you ever burnt one over a campfire?  There you go!).  Smells of fresh baking.  Almost dessert-like in ways.  Great cohesion.  Very easy going.

Palate:  Spicy warm arrival that develops into a cinnamon / ginger / molasses cookie note.  Creamy fudge (like the candy shops in Banff, my local mates).

Thoughts:  John knocks it outta the park with his entry level expression.

Score:  87.5/100

018

Forty Creek Copper Pot Reserve
43% abv

Nose:  Warm hot cross buns.  Rye bread.  A neat little bit of almost an ashy / peppery nip.  Allspice.  Slightly minty.  A touch of smoke.  Savoury notes too.  Oddly enough, there is a slightly metallic tang here (no…this isn’t mere synesthesia from the name of the whisky).

Palate:  Wow…way more tangy than the Barrel Select.  More on tart fruits and zippy spices.  Big rye notes.  A lot of spice.  Sticky saucy notes.

Thoughts:  Good whisky.  Even without overthinking the name of this one, we are moving closer to Scotch territory now.

Score:  86.5/100

010

Forty Creek Double Barrel Reserve
40% abv

Nose:  Chocolate.  Raisin and massive purple grapes.  Rye grains, but…now some sweet corn bourbon notes too.  Lemon pepper.  Tart cherry and gooseberry.  Seems like a lot of sherry influence here.  A mixed  bag of citrus zest (lemon, lime and orange shavings).  Vanilla cream and clean oak.

Palate:  Caramel apple.  Christmas cake.  Less complex on the palate than the nose would lead you to believe.  Almost too easy actually.

Thoughts:  Lots to this one for those who are olfactorily-inclined.  I could pick notes off the nose of this one for hours.  Extra points here for the nose alone.

Score:  88.5/100

010

Forty Creek John’s Private Cask No. 1
40% abv

Nose:  Warm chocolate.  Cadbury’s Fruit And Nut bar.  Some white chocolate too.  Nice spice blend.  More cereals and porridge-y notes now.  Crème brûlée.  Poached pear with a touch of pepper and old ginger.  Vanilla cream and just a little banana cream too.  Rye.  A slightly sour tang.  Very gentle…very approachable.

Palate:  Melted chocolate over tart fruits…with a shake of mixed spices over the lot (cinnamon, nutmeg and ginger).  Tangy again.  What kind of cask play is this, I wonder.

Thoughts:  Would likely make a Canadian whisky convert of most anyone.

Score:  88/100

001

Forty Creek Port Wood Reserve
45% abv

Nose:  Cinnamon and raisin bagels.  Butter tarts.  A slightly meaty, Bovril aroma (like those little bags of beef ring crisps you can get in the UK).  Our mate Davin De Kergommeaux found celery (good nose, Davin!), but I’ll go further and say it’s more like celery salt to me.  Chocolate.  Dill.  Old Dutch Bar-B-Q potato chips.  Salty and a little smoky.

Palate:  All works in an odd sorta way on the nose, but on the palate…not so much.  Quite tart.  I wish this had had a little less time in bed with the port.  Too wine-heavy for my liking.  Dried fruits and spice.

Thoughts:  I’m a big fan of the uniqueness of the nose, but wish it all held together a little better.  Extra point for the nose.

Score:  85.5/100

170

Forty Creek Confederation Oak Reserve
40% abv

Nose:  Creamy?  More fruits now than we’ve seen so far.  Crème brûlée…again.  Vanilla.  Caramel apple.  Chocolate ganache.  Rye and all purpose flour.  Toffee, ginger and pepper.  Lively red fruity notes.  Not far off the nose of the more mature Alberta Premium releases, but sans the dusty dunnage notes.

Palate:  Fresh woods and creamy custards.  More vanilla cream here with some fruity notes.  Chocolate.  A touch of smoke.  The aforementioned crème brûlée is here too.

Thoughts:  Simple: I love it.

Score:  90.5/100

156

Forty Creek Heart of Gold
43% abv

Nose:  More of a spicy rye character now.  Substantial wine notes.  Massive bucket loads of jarred prunes (think those little jars of baby food).  Slight smoked meat note.  Damp wood.  Pepper.  Lots of spice.  I’m getting a vague iodine (almost urine…sorry!) note here somewhere.

Palate:  All prunes again.  Some smoke.  Dried fruits and moist rye bread.  Having trouble pulling more out from around that prune character.

Thoughts:  Not the integrated whole I had hoped for.  Don’t get me wrong though…still a top notch whisky.  Think I’ll go back to the Confederation Oak.

Score:  86/100

007

Sincere thanks to my mate, Piers, for helping pull together so many of these wonderful whiskies for me.  You’re a good man, Piers, irrespective of what most people say.  Love ya, brother.

Big cheers to Canada’s best whisky maker, Mr. John Hall.

 

– Words & Tasting Notes:  Curt

– Photos:  Curt

 Posted by at 12:56 pm
Feb 072014
 

Compass Box Peat Monster 10th Anniversary011

48.9% abv

Score:  90/100

 

In celebration of the ten year anniversary of their best selling whisky, Compass Box tweaked the recipe a tad and gave us loyal followers a little bit of a treat.  A limited edition (whatever that means in this day and age) of The Peat Monster dressed up in sexy Bosch meets Dali-esque artwork.  Love it.  Compass Box has always wowed with presentation, and this version of The Peat Monster is no exception.

The initial release of this expression was built on an amalgamation of Caol Ila and Ardmore.  Later on, Laphroaig was added to the mix.  And now…while I’m uncertain as to the continued inclusion of the latter two (I’ll assume the recipe is consistent), there is apparently an additional few casks of Clynelish.  Peated Clynelish at that.  Hmmmm…does that sound suspiciously like Brora to any of you?  Highly doubt that’s what it is but, man…what I wouldn’t give to taste those peated Clynelish casks anyway.

Having said all of this…The Peat Monster story has been told before, so let’s get on to the dram.

For the sake of compare/contrast I tasted this side-by-side with the standard edition of Peat Monster (albeit one from a couple years back).  The differences are subtle, but appreciable.  Let me add though…one could be worse served than to relax with two different variants of this dram in front of them, as I am this eve.  To quote the late, and especially great, Shannon Hoon: “Life ain’t so shitty”.

Nose:  All that you’d expect in terms of peat and smoke.  Initially I thought this was a little bit creamier than the regular edition, but as it develops the citrus comes forth and sharpens things up a bit.  Malty with some beautiful natural caramel notes.  Oily and briny.  Pepper.  Kippers and capers.  Aside from a little bit of lemon and orange there’s not a lot in the way of fruit here.  If anything…granny smith apple.

Palate:  Smoke and earthy peat.  Lemon, salt and melted vanilla ice cream.  Something kinda tart, tangy and zippy.  Not sure what that is exactly, but it works a treat in opening up every sensor on the tongue.  Pepper.  Tar.  Black candies…or almost (but not quite)salt licorice.  Yeah…this is a little creamier than the standard edition.  Knowing ahead of time that the mainIslay component in here is Caol Ila is entirely unnecessarily, as it’s nearly unmistakeable off the cuff.

Thoughts:  Different, but I can’t say better or worse than its predecessor.  No need to split hairs on marks then; let’s score it the same as the other.  Another great whisky from Glaser and co.

 

– Reviewed by:  Curt

– Photo:  Curt

 Posted by at 8:33 pm
Feb 062014
 

Old Pulteney 21 y.o.001

46% abv

Score:  89.5/100

 

Sigh.  There’s such an obvious angle with which to attack this review, but I’m gonna do my best to rein that in as much as possible.  I imagine most of you know exactly what I’m talking about, so let’s just move on a wee ways and allow my senses to be the guide, and not the media shitstorm, questionable propaganda or sycophantic head-nodding.

I first tried Old Pulteney a few years back.  I’d seen our dear friend Ralfy wax poetically about it and I’d read some rather positive, if not quite glowing, reviews as well.  When I had the opportunity to sample the 12, 17 and 21 in a sitting, I jumped at the chance.  The 12…s’alright.  Youngish, but a nose ahead of most of its pre-teener Scottish contemporaries.  The 17…a wonderfully pleasant surprise and certainly my favorite of the three.  And the 21…a bit of a letdown after the wow’ing the 17 gave me, but…still nice.

Fast forward a few years (and a few hundred whisky reviews) and here we are with a glass of the OP21 in hand.  I’m happy to report back to the faithful and curious that this is indeed a pretty fine drink.  Not only that, it’s a bit better than I recall too.

Pulteney is a rather coastal Highland distillery located in Pulteneytown in Wick, Caithness, Scotland.  It’s interesting to note – and often makes for a great discussion – that though many folks out there contest the concept of ambient influence or terroir, most of the true coastal distilleries carry a somewhat briny/salty/seaswept sort of character (think Islay malts, Talisker, Highland Park, Scapa, Pulteney, etc).  Knowledgeable whisky cynics will immediately counter with the argument that some of those Islay malts with the strongest oceanic character actually mature primarily on the mainland, but…I’ll leave that debate alone for the here and now, and just get on to the whisky at hand.

This stolid old sailor was born of bourbon and sherry casks, and shows a truly flawless integration and one heckuva job of cask selection to compose this sort of harmony.  Having said that…a pleasing melody is often less sonically impressive than aural originality.  Put simply…well made, but bordering on pedestrian.  Would be a great everyday dram due to its all ’round charm and approachability though.

All in all…not a bad dram from Pulteney.  Award winner?  Certainly not.  Don’t talk stupid.  But yes…absolutely a decent dram.  Sadly, however, for we unwashed masses, the pricing scheme (at least in my neck of the woods) took a rather dramatic leap sometime between the publication of some random award or other and the present day.  Le sigh.  What can you do?

Nose:  Mildly salted and peppered pineapple.  Somewhat creamy.  Cinnamon and honey.  Lemon and orange.  Meringue.  The cleanest of very fresh hardwood.  Pears and cream.  Toasted marshmallow.  Freshly chopped almond.  Sponge toffee.  Maybe just a hint of Bird’s Custard.  Very, very nice.

Palate:  Nice delivery, if a little tart as it develops.  Some pepper at the front.  A little bit of chocolate and slivers of oak.  Leather.  Orange zest.  Salt.  Lemons and popsicle sticks.  Spiced fruit compote.  Not as impressive and instantly appealing as the nose, but still nice.

Thoughts:  Like devouring a big bowl of creamy trifle on the deck of a yacht…and being doused in sea spray.

 

 – Reviewed by:  Curt

– Photo:  Curt

 Posted by at 8:59 pm
Feb 062014
 

Kilchoman Cask # 326 (KWM Exclusive)111

60.1% abv

Score:  88.5/100

 

Kilchoman brings the heat again. 

To be clear though, before going any further…you gotta be a lover of enormous billows of smoke and peat reek in your glass in order to really appreciate this one.  If that’s your cup o’ tea (or malt) however…do read on.

Kilchoman, Islay’s wee little success story is now in year 9.  Oddly enough though, having said that, we’ve yet to see any official Kilchoman releases nearing that sort of age statement.  Most of the expressions I’ve seen hit the shelves so far are still averaging about 5 years, give or take.  Case in point is this young single cask release bottled exclusively for Calgary’s Kensington Wine Market.  The spirit was born in 2008 and ‘came of age’ in 2013, when it was bottled and sent out into the great wide open (or Calgary at least).

If you’re familiar with the Kilchoman profile, don’t expect anything new here.  If you’re unfamiliar…well…I refer you back to the second sentence in this review.  This is a young and snarling Islay single malt, where the smoky and earthy notes are forefront and subtlety is nothing more than a word in the dictionary between ‘huh?’ and ‘what?’  It’s a ‘nearly naked’ whisky, coming from an ex-bourbon barrel, so there’s no hiding behind the sweetening influence of sherry or any other sort of finish.  In my ‘umble opinion this relative purity suits the clean and impressive distillate from Kilchoman.

Just an observation here:

Much like a magician drawing your eye away with one hand as he palms a card with the other, I think the enormous peat influence here helps to draw the mind away from the fact that this is merely a five year old whisky.  If this were an unpeated malt I can’t imagine we’d all be quite so enamoured.  Just my two cents.  Having said that…at the end of any magic act I’m always happy just to have seen a good show and leave satisfied.  I don’t need to pull back the curtain.

I can’t imagine any fan of Kilchoman being disappointed by this whisky.  They may however, like me, take exception to the $120 price on a five year old whisky.  I love this distillery, but there’s no need for pricing like this.  There are 18 year old bottles of Springbank on the shelf at a similar price point.  Just sayin’.

Limited run of just 252 bottles.  If you want one…grab it while you can.

Nose:  Sharp lemons and buckets o’ briny seawater goodness.  Iodine.  Smoke (and lots of it).  Peat (and again…lots of it).  White pepper.  Clean wet dog.  Black licorice.  Vapo-rub.  Green Jolly Ranchers.  Caramel.

Palate:  Cola.  Lemon.  Peat n’ smoke.  Salt n’ pepper.  Big licorice.  Oily sardine.  Black candies.  Ashy and earthy.  Even some chocolate.  Did I mention there’s a lot of licorice here?

Thoughts:  Another great young Kilchoman.  I’m holding back from going any higher on score, as technically this is rather flawless, but at such youth there’s still so far to go.  Can’t wait to see this distillery’s quarter century malt at some point far down the road.  So much yet to come from Kilchoman.

 

– Reviewed by:  Curt

– Photo:  Curt

 Posted by at 8:33 am
Feb 032014
 

GlenDronach 2002 #708 (KWM Exclusive)096

55.4% abv

Score:  89/100

 

Looks like the good folks at Kensington Wine Market have picked another winner here. 

You know I’m a sucker for the GlenDronach single casks, but what even I didn’t know was how special they can be even in this relatively young state of maturity.  I approached this whisky with middling expectations (herein conceded as an age bias) but must admit I was more than silenced with the first nosing. 

I won’t wax poetic about deep intricacies and subtle shadings on this one.  Here we have exactly what we’d expect in a sweet young sherry bomb.  Big, rambunctious and not for the faint of heart.  But what’s unique in the case of cask #708, a 602 bottle yielding PX puncheon, is just how clean and surprisingly vibrant this is in comparison to so many of its contemporary ‘bodega buddies’.  An ultra pristine cask here guarantees a superb ride from start to finish.   

Let’s go back to that previous concession of age bias for a minute or two.  While I’m not a whisky snob, I am cynical that a whisky is properly mature at the ripe old age of 11.  Even here…where we have a really neat whisky…I dread to think of how this would have turned out if it had been left to age for another decade or two.  GlenDronach’s history of exceptional older casks supports this supposition too, I might add, but I guess if they were all left to mellow into middle age we’d likely price ourselves out of the game in short order.  In short…I shouldn’t complain about having a great whisky at a fair price instead of an exceptional whisky at a prohibitive price.

Guess we’ll consider this yet another case where we lucky sods in Alberta make out like bandits.   

Nose:  Big, BIG chocolate fudge.  Great spices, nutmeg in particular.  A little bit of an Amrut sort of profile here.  In fact, if I tried this blind, I’d likely think it was an Amrut.  Almond.  Mincemeat tarts.  Great dark stewed fruits, and quite syrupy.

Palate:  More of that big chocolate.  Dark cherry and licorice.  Quite jammy…big and thick.  Cinnamon and nutmeg.  Lots of dried fruit, especially apricot.  Soooooo much melted chocolate.

Thoughts:  Very nice clean sherry cask.  89 points…maybe more.  The good folk at KWM have picked another winner.  Love this one.

 

– Reviewed by:  Curt

– Photo:  Curt

 Posted by at 3:06 pm
Feb 022014
 

Whisky Harmoany: Putting Drinkers and Whisky together since 2014

After attending countless whisky tastings and talking with many well-oiled festival attendees, Maltmonster has come to believe that there must be a way to match a style of whisky with a consumer.  He knew, from his vast drinking experience, that some whiskies were ending up in spit buckets, plant pots or poured down the drain, but that many others were enjoyed and found satisfying to the consumer.

Maltmonster thought… “What if I could define the traits most likely to lead to relationship success?  Could certain characteristics predict compatibility and lead to a satisfying relationship?”

Maltmonster set out to test this theory by identifying the characteristics in each whisky that would lead to a successful relationship with a particular type of consumer. After many hours of research and development, Maltmonster successfully identified the key character traits that predicted compatibility and the potential for a rewarding relationship with a whisky.

 

If you have two or more of following interest/traits:

– Sports: Australian Rules football, Lacrosse and mixed martial arts

– Music: Black Sabbath, Clutch and Violent Femmes

– Entertainment: Watching any movie directed by David Cronenberg, watching reruns of the prison TV series OZ and watching YouTube videos of Don’t Try This at Home

– Hobbies: Manufacturing pipe bombs, online gambling and online Porn

And … You regularly park in Handicap stalls; You have friends with two part names ending with Bob; Have numerous tattoos (which may include your favorite distillery); Whips & chains excite you; You have a hard time holding down a full time job; Have been diagnosed with some type of disorder; May suffer from Tourette’s … You are likely to enjoy any of the following whiskies: Ardbeg 10/ Lagavulin 12/ Laphroaig ¼ Cask/ any Bruichladdich PC or Octomore

——————————————————————————————————————————-

If you have two or more of following interests/traits:

– Sports: Hockey, Baseball, Basketball and Real football (non-soccer)

– Music: Flogging Molly, Johnny Cash and Van Morrison

– Entertainment: Watching any Bill Murray movie, watching reruns of the TV series Californication and reading the Classics.

– Hobbies: Drinking good whisky, charity work and smoking good cigars

And … You exercise regularly; Generally like and get along with other people; Think St. Patrick’s Day should be a national holiday; Are not afraid of hard work … You are likely to enjoy any of the following whiskies: Benriach 25 & annual releases/ Glendronach Cask Strength & annual releases/ Talisker 18/ Glenfarclas 21 – 40 YO

————————————————————————————————————————–

If you have two or more of following interests/traits:

– Sports: Polo, Yachting, and Tennis

– Music: Flock of Sea Gulls, Bay City Rollers and Backstreet Boys

– Entertainment: Watching any Woody Allen movie, watching reruns of the TV series Housewives of Beverly Hills and reading Esquire

– Hobbies: Cooking with Truffles, Shopping for Designer Jeans and Watch Collecting.

And … You’ve had a silver spoon surgically installed in your anus at birth; You didn’t know you had a mother until your Nanny introduced you at age ten; You’ve a least one friend whose name is either Chauncey or Reginald; You are a member of numerous private clubs; Have been in therapy most of your life; Are a staunch advocate for the opera … You are likely to enjoy any of the following whiskies: Dalmore Constellation/ Glenmorangie Pride/ Macallan M/ Glenfiddich 50

 

(***Results are accurate to plus or minus 90% with a 10% margin of error. Only 5% of the focus group was coherent enough to answer questions after sample testing. Clinical Trials with Bourbon Placebos were stopped after serious Hillbilly side effects were observed. No animals were harmed as result of testing except for the chickens that were barbequed.)

 

What professional people are saying about Whisky Harmoany…

“Getting pissed has never been easier, before I used the Whisky Harmoany system I would always spit, now that I’ve been following the Harmoany way, I’m more relaxed and swallow.”

– Amber Macallan, Professional Stripper

 

“Following J. Murrey’s recommendations I could never finish any of my whiskies. After Glenmorangie Ealanta and Ballantine’s 17 I almost gave up whiskey completely but being Irish, this was not an option. Thank you Whiskey Harmoany, you’ve made being Irish fun again!”

– Colin Farewell, Professional Actor

 

“My choices in whisky have always been a little helter skelter. Since I have been following the Harmoany way, I’ve become a true believer. If I ever get out of prison I’m going to look you up. Thanks.”

– Charlie Manson, Professional Criminal

 

“The up side of being a whisky writer is I get to drink a lot and nobody asks or expects me to pay. The downside of whisky writing are the legions of needy whisky nerds who are constantly fact checking me, along with the crushing deadline of one article a month. Real science like that at Whisky Harmoany may or may not help me. Since I mentioned your name, please pass on my endorsement fee.”

– I. Burton, Professional Writer

 

Whisky Harmoany will be available this fall for your iPhone 5S.

Coming next year …………..Whisky Rosetta Stone; for translating professionally written whisky tasting notes into English.

 

Your Humble Drudge & Social Whisky Scientist,

 – Maltmonster

 

 Posted by at 5:15 pm